


The Price Of One's Hide

by Hekate1308



Series: The Home We've Made [8]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Inspired by Addams Family, M/M, siren!Castiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-03
Updated: 2018-02-03
Packaged: 2019-03-13 01:09:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13559469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hekate1308/pseuds/Hekate1308
Summary: Sam likes to think that he has been dealing with Dean’s surprise marriage to a siren and his white picket fence life in the suburbs among monsters rather well.Still, some things startle him.





	The Price Of One's Hide

Sam likes to think that he has been dealing with Dean’s surprise marriage to a siren and his white picket fence life in the suburbs among monsters rather well.

Still, some things startle him.

Things like a demon appearing at his law firm, calling out, “Moose, we need someone to do some lawyering, and STAT”, snapping his fingers and transporting him to a coffee shop he visited with Dean a week ago. It’s run by a hobglobin.

“What the –“

“Crowley” Dean says slowly. Thank God his brother’s here.

Crowley looks at him, then blinks. “Wait. Humans. They need an explanation?”

“I’d say so, and you better apologies to Sammy’s boss.”

“Will do. Back in a few.”

He beams away again.

Sam takes a deep breath.

“You feeling okay, Sammy? Takes a bit to get used to, I know.”

“Dean” he says as calmly as he can, “What is going on?”

“We have a bit of a situation here” he replies.

Sam looks around. Only now he’s becoming aware of Cas standing next to Dean (where else?), Sheriff Jody Mills sitting at a table near them with a blonde who looks decidedly confused, and a tall, well-muscled man standing a few feet away from them, seemingly distressed.

“If I may” Cas says, and Dean nods. “This is Tobias. Tobias is a selkie living near the lake about an hour from here.”

“Hello” Sam greets the tall man – he’s not really used to anyone looking him directly in the eyes.

“Hi.”

“You see, Tobias was here having coffee with a few friends when Jody and Donna came in. Donna’s been visiting Jody for the last few weeks; she wanted to learn more about monsters.”

The blonde smiles weakly at Sam and he wonders if she’s been learning a little more than she wanted.

“Tobias had laid his jacket over the back of his seat, and it just so happened to fall off. Donna picked it up and handed it to him.”

When Cas doesn’t continue, Sam says “I see” even though he doesn’t. “And?” he finally prompts.

Dean shakes his head. “Of course. Sorry, Sammy – too used to all of this, but basically, that was his hide. You know, the thing he uses to transform into a seal?”

Of course. A guy who changes into a seal so he can swim in the lake he lives by. Makes perfect sense.

Sam is starting to wonder if he’s going a bit mad.

“Okay. So she gave him back his hide… Crowley mentioned “lawyering”. Are there any legal ramifications…”

“You could call it that” Donna suddenly snaps, “He says we’re mated now!”

“I didn’t say that” Tobias says indignantly, “I said you had made a proposal and that I was considering –“

“Hello boys, Sam’s boss is in the know now, and I told him we’d pay, so there’s no problem, although a secretary fainted, which I attribute to my ravishing good looks… What did I miss?”

“Tobias was just explaining the situation, Crowley” Dean sighs.

“So wait, you think Donna made you an offer?” Sam asks.

“She did! She handed me back my hide!”

“I gave you your coat!”

“Yes, and with that you stated that –“

“Tobias” Sam interjects, having no idea how to act. There aren’t even any laws yet regulating the relationships between humans and monsters because the Government has barely managed to regard monsters as persons to begin with. “You have to understand that humans and monsters have different customs –“

“But it’s my hide! And she touched it!” he sounds more like a small boy than a grown man, and Dean clears his throat.

“Hey guys, I’d just like to talk to my brother for a sec, alright?”

He drags him into the kitchen. “Thank God Munitz had the premises cleared when he realized what was going on.”

“What exactly is going on? Tobias understands this was all just a misunderstanding, right?”

“Sam…” Dean takes a deep breath. “I don’t really know how to explain. But yes, Tobias understands, but that doesn’t mean that he gets it. It’s the same with Crowley and his ritual – he understands that humans feel disgusted by them, but he doesn’t  _get it_. Which is why when  _you_  first met him, he was still covered in blood.”

“I think I’m beginning to understand” Sam replies slowly.

“Good. Because a selkie’s hide is incredibly important to them, and Tobias feels he needs to be at least given the real opportunity to decide whether or not he wants to mate Donna.”

“You realize how that must sound to her?”

Dean sighs. “At least she’s been here for a few weeks. I don’t want to imagine what would have happened if this had taken place right after she arrived. She’s taking it rather well, really.”

It’s true; at least Donna seems to be calm. This could have gone much, much worse. “So what am I supposed to do?”

Dean shrugs. “We were hoping you could help… strike a compromise. By the way, I only mentioned we should call you; I had no idea Crowley would take it so literally.”

As if his name summons him, the demon shows up. “Things are heating up out there, guys. The sheriff’s fair friend is rather fed-up with our love-stricken selkie, I’m afraid.”

“Oh God. Alright, Sammy, time to put those negotiation skills to good use.”

He can only hope he can do anything about it.

Donna is standing in front of Tobias, gesticulating wildly. “I just don’t see the point of you pretending –“

“I’m not pretending! I just want a chance –“

“Sure, because everyone is dying to have a chance to date me –“

“Donna” Sam interrupts her, “Donna, Tobias, please. Can we just… be quite for a moment?”

They fall silent. It’s something, he supposes, although he still has no idea how to deal with any of this.

“Alright. Tobias, how about we let Donna tell us exactly how she feels about this. Maybe we will find common ground.”

“It’s just ridiculous, that’s what it is! There must be hundreds of better looking women waiting to pick up his coat, so why should he wait to date me? You are practically ten feet tall, and hot too! I am certain that –“

“What do you mean, better looking?” Tobias asks and he looks so honestly puzzled Donna can only stare at him. “You have the brightest eyes I have ever seen.”

She blushes fiercely. “I – I mean – my marriage broke up because – alright, that wasn’t the only reason, but Doug said I had put on weight and –“

“Doug’s a jerk” Dean says immediately.

“I agree” Tobias announces, “It’s ridiculous, you look perfectly healthy to me…”

“I am.”

Tobias grins. “That’s wonderful! Do you like boats? I could show your our lake.”

Donna blushes even more fiercely. Sam feels a strange pull and realizes just in time that Cas has turned his snare on – or rather, that it’s turned itself on – Dean recently explained to him that this often happens when the siren sense attraction between people.

Well then.

“I don’t know how humans do this” Tobias says carefully, “But I would like to take you out on a date. You and your shining eyes. They are the signs of a good soul, you know, with humans. Like Dean’s or his brother’s.”

Dean grins behind his back and winks at Sam. Crowley rolls his eyes.

“Do you want me to leave so you can bask in their light?” he asks, and Sam has the feeling there’s some history between demons and selkies he doesn’t know about.

“There’s no reason to, Crowley. You’ve brightened in many ways since Dean and Cas moved here.”

The demon blinks, slowly looks at all of them in turn, and then disappears without another word.

Dean groans. “If we get a thunderstorm tonight, I am blaming you.”

“Go ahead” Tobias sighs, looking at Donna.

“Just another day in the neighbourhood” Dean grumbles. Cas shoves him playfully and smiles.

Jody steps up to Sam, shaking her head. She’s been remarkably quiet throughout the whole thing, and Sam’s starting to wonder if perhaps she saw it coming. After all, she knows both humans and monsters very well. “And?” she asks. “Think you’ll get sued to the madness eventually?”

Donna and Tobias are by now conversing in a corner, smiles on both their faces, and Sam contemplates the question for a moment before he says, “I think I’ll be fine.”


End file.
